10 Male Bathroom Rules – Proper Etiquette

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If you’re a guy, you already know the unwritten rules of proper etiquette while in a public restroom. I mean, I don’t even need to explain it; it should be in your blood. But just incase you forget or if you’re a female and you’ve never known about this, here is a list of male bathroom rules – the proper etiquette.

1. Do not speak to anyone you don’t know, matter of fact, avoid talking in general! The bathroom isn’t a place to chit chat, it’s a place to handle your business, wash your hands and get out. Stay mute when you’re in the bathroom and the second you get out, then you can talk once again.

2. Avoid making eye contact. There’s no point in looking directly into people’s eyes in the bathroom. That sends out the wrong vibe and could possibly get you punched. Matter of fact, try not to look at anyone in general (no body parts, no eye contact, just don’t look).

3. Always have an empty urinal between you and the next closest guy. If there are 5 urinals, you never, NEVER go to the adjacent one, you skip one. For instance, you go to urinal 1, skip 2, go to urinal 3, skip 4, and go to urinal 5. If 1, 3 and 5 are taken, you then proceed to the nearest open stall. And if those are taken, you come back.

4. When using the urinal, keep your eyes forward or focused on your own business. There is no reason or excuse for trying to look at someone else or someone else’s business. That’s usually an open invitation of getting punched.

5. Flush your business! How many times do we walk into a stall and see someone else’s masterpiece just sitting there? Nope, we don’t flush it either. We simply both to the next available stall.

6. Do not stay in front of the mirror for too long. Unless you have something in your teeth you do not need to stay looking at yourself. You’re not putting on makeup and you do not want to stay in the bathroom longer than needed.

7. Avoid taking a number two. Unless you just ate a bowl of chili from Taco Bell, there is no reason you can’t wait until you get home.

8. Keep unnecessary noises to a minimum. If you use the bathroom, there is no reason at all why you need to make groaning, grunting, sighing, etc noises. Seriously, that’s just disturbing.

9. Wash your hands! I don’t care if you just do a quick rise but if you just peed, you probably leaked on yourself. And if you took a number two, well, that’s just gross.

10. Absolutely no touching! No patting, no handshakes, no rubbing, no touching! Only time you need to touch someone is if they break any of these rules and you need to give them a good slap in the face.

Well, those are the male bathroom etiquettes. Hey, I didn’t make them up, it’s an unwritten rule! And I also included a funny male bathroom rules Youtube video for those you guys (or girls) that need a visual.

3 COMMENTS

  1. Jeff F – Apparently you wrote the unwritten rules of male bathroom etiquette, huh? So, based on your post, no one has ever mentioned this before March 17th, 2008, huh?

    Give me a break…

    And the video I posted, did they rip you off too? Even though the video was posted in 2006…

    My point exactly. I guess you’re not as original as you may have though.

    And for the record, I never even heard about your site prior to now.

    Jay

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