Make sure you come out only when you really want to. Take control of the situation and remember that it may be more of a process than an event
1 < strong> You dont have to come out . While many people find its a great weight off their shoulders, others dont want to come out, understanding their sexuality as a entirely private matter so it its really up to you. Only come out when you feel comfy and confident in doing so.
2 Arriving out can be a really positive experience and it can feel liberating to be authentic with household, pals and colleagues. You can also has become a positive role model to others around you who may be considering coming out.
3 < strong> Many people are concerned about other folks reactions . Key fears are that they wont be accepted or will be seen differently. So if someone comes out to you, one of the best ways to respond tell us, I still feel exactly the same about you.
Its likewise perfectly OK to say that you need time to process the information, but try to communicate at the same period that your seems towards the person who has come out to you have not changed.
4 < strong> Worries and fears may differ according to how old you are. Younger people can be more worried about reactions and acceptance among their peer group, and worry about whether or not they might be bullied. Older people especially those in a heterosexual relationship and maybe with children may have different dilemma. If you are coming out to your children, remember to remind them that you are still the same person, that you still adoration them and that you still feel the same way about them. If at all possible, get the support of your ex-partner and tell the children together.
5 < strong> Allow people to be shocked and to need time to take the news in be sensitive to their seems, too. Pick a quiet, calm period when you tell people, which will give you all time to talk about it. Recollect that came to see you may be more of a process than an event.
6 < strong> If household or pals react in a negative behavior , it wont necessarily be how they ever feel. Give them time to get used to the news. First reactions arent ever lasting reactions.
7 If you are really nervous about came to see you to household or pals, consider writing them a letter telling them, then follow up with a phone call or visit. This allows the recipient time to get used to the news, but you still retain control of the situation.
8 < strong> Staying in control < strong> of the news should ever remain with the person who is coming out. So its important so should be considered this when choosing how to do it. While you should use whichever medium you feel most comfortable with face-to-face, telephone call, text, email, social media its worth bearing in mind that some give more privacy than others. If you dont crave everyone to know at once, consider using more old-fashioned methods of communication. If you want to come out to one family member at a time, remember to be said that that as you share your news.
9 < strong> If “youre not” sure of how certain significant people in your life may react , its a good notion to build a subsistence network around you first. This could signify coming out to one person whom you trust and are reasonably confident will be supportive. If necessary, have that person with you when you come out to others.
10 < strong> If you suspect person you know is LGBT , remember that you cannot and should not force them to come out, but you are able to foster an environment where the person seems supported and safe to do so.
With thanks to Louise Kelly, knowledge officer at Stonewall ( 08000 50 20 20 ).
Further reading and resources : stonewall.org.uk/ help-advice/ coming-out-0 ; rucomingout.com genderedintelligence.co.uk
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