This week recognizes the 10th anniversary ofseries finale. A decade has passed since we told goodbye to the most iconic foursome of all time, and a lot has happened in that time: RAZR telephones became obsolete, Seth Cohen wedded Blair Waldorf, we elected a black and then an orange chairwoman, we all learned the Soulja Boy crank that and then promptly tried to build everyone forget we had ever memorized the Soulja Boy moves. Yet despite the passageway of hour, we’re still not over Marissa’s deathor Mischa Barton for fucking ruining the plot twist. was such a critical element in our adolescent times in part since this was entertaining af, but also because like most 2000 s teen dramas, ittaught us many important life lessons. So in honour of the 10 th anniversary of the series finale, and to remind you that you’re getting increasingly older with every passing second and we’re all lunging rapidly towards fatality, we decided to round up 10 life lessons we learned fromSome people( losers) had guidance advisers or older siblings to turn to when in need of advice; betches turned to a group of four privileged West Coast kids.
Not very present on this list but nonetheless worth mentioning are the fashion lessonstaught us, which could take up an entire article on their own.Marissa and Summer’s baby-sized Louis Vuitton containers and Abercrombie& Fitch minis were the epitome of style and the bane of our parents’ universe. This reveal helped revolutionize the polo industry, encouraging bros to buy multiple brightly colored polos and wear them at the same hour with the collars popped. basically generated the tanorexic chic esthetic and constructed us all dress like we were on the beach in Los Angeles all the time, even when it was the middle of February in New York. But before we go into a whole culture analysis of the impact ofon the fashion landscape, let’s get back to these iconic minutes from, what lessons they served, and who they were taught by.
1. Sandy Cohen: The Importance Of Eyebrow Maintenance
Somebody call this human an aesthetician or take his ass to CVS to buy a pair of tweezers. If you didn’t watch the season premiere and immediately ask your bestie if your eyebrows were too thick( it’s okay if they’re sisters and not twins ), then you had extraordinary self-esteem for a sixth grader.
2. Kirsten Cohen: How To Become Ivanka Trump
Kirsten Cohen was a blonde running mother who was an executive vice president for her father’s real estate developing company. She later wedded a Jewish man and had to testify against her parent. Does this sound like any woman living in Washington D.C. whose name rhymes with vodka?
3. The Cohen Family: The Importance Of Bagels
I swear to god there was a basket of freshly cooked bagels on the Cohen’s kitchen counter at all times. It’s unclear whether the constant bagels were there to remind Sandy of his Brooklyn heritage in WASP-filled Orange County, assistance Seth weigh more than a Chinese gymnast, or for Kirsten to pretend she eat more than 300 calories per day. Either way, the ubiquitous bagels were almost powerful enough to convince us not to skip breakfast.
4. Ryan Atwood: How To Draw Off The Wife Beater
Regardless of gender, everyone in the 2000 s started wearing spouse beaters, even though approximately 0% of those people should have ever put one on. Nobody can wear a spouse beater like Ryan Atwood, mostly because no one other than Ryan Atwood should ever wear one. Michael Kors has his black T-shirts and Ryan has his white, sometimes blood-stained from his most recent combat, shitty Hanes undershirts. For the rest of “peoples lives” spouse beaters will be the trigger that makes me hear Ryan Atwood grumbling “I’m whoever you want me to be.” I’ll begrudgingly had recognized that chokers have made a comeback, but the spouse beater tendency is one that we as a society should never allow to return.
5. Marissa Cooper: The Art Of Blacking Out At The Pregame
Name a more iconic moment than Marissa Cooper blackout drunk at any one of her mom’s parties. I’ll wait. Oh maybe when she would get blackout drunk by herself while tanning in her backyard before junior time of high school? The entire series starts with a passed out Coop get plummeted off by her friends on her front stairs. Her memorial should have said, “It’s more like I’m staying drunk.” Marissa’s dedication to blacking out was one we admired and took with us to college and beyond, and to when our parents/ therapists/ physicians/ lame-ass friends try to say our behaviour is “unsafe” and “not normal.”
6. Marissa Cooper: Nothing Good Ever Happens In Tijuana
This show might have been an elaborated anti-tourist campaign against Tijuana. Marissa find out her parents are dividing, her boyfriend is cheating on her with one of her friends, and she ends up in an alley after mixing Oxy and tequila. She lives, but then she has to go to therapy where she satisfies a kid that tries to kill himself because Marissa doesn’t adoration him. If you thought your spring transgres trip to Cabo was bad, gues again. Some would argue that this episode truly points to the dangers of mixing prescription drugs and alcohol, but we say those people are fucking narcs.
7. Julie Cooper: How To Be A Master Gold-Digger
Julie Cooper would have been the ultimate Real Housewife of Orange County and likely single-handedly inspired the entire series( and, by proxy, all its spinoffs ). If you haven’t fantasized about what her intro line would be, you should probably take a minute to be considered it. She trapped Jimmy into marrying her with an accidental pregnancy and divorced his ass after he went bankrupt but maintained living in his home. Then she was married to Caleb Cohen( despite her horrible blunt bangs) until he went to prison. After that she was poor for a pair episodes until she realise she could hook up with her daughter’s best friend’s daddy, Neil Roberts. Say what you will about this clearly BSCB, but she was resourceful AF.
8. Everyone: How To Perfect The Backhanded Compliment
While there wasn’t the same level of back-stabbing or bitchy commentaries as in, cultivated the subtlety of the backhanded compliment. That’s when you frame a soul-crushing insult as kudo. The best of the best was Julie Cooper’s “Are you going to wear the Donna Karan, Marissa? I thought it was very forgiving.” I would be lying if I told I didn’t tweak that line and use it on my frenemies from time to time.
9. Seth Cohen: Unrealistic Expectations Of Fuckboys Everywhere
Seth Cohen is fake news. There are no wealthy, intelligent, kind, funny boys in Orange County who are into sailing, call you back, and are hot enough to be your date to prom. It only doesn’t happen. Seth was a supremely decent son who, besides the whole Anna incident, had absolutely no reason to be. If you started high school thinking you’d find a son that loved you enough to name a boat after you and publicly acknowledge your relationship because you thought Seth Cohen was the norm, you are one of many women who fell for the trap.
10. Summer Roberts: How To Be The Best Person In Your Friend Group
Summer was the best character on, and not only because she could wear a mini-skirt and crew-neck T-shirt better than Paris Hilton. She didn’t freak out at her daddy for being a responsible mother (@ Marissa ), she didn’t risk her future every episode to work out a hero complex (@ Ryan ), she didn’t draw comic book (@ Seth ), and most importantly she wasn’t a fucking try-hard (@ Taylor Townsend ). Plus, she went to Brown University even though her boyfriend didn’t get in and prioritized her job over him. Her character developing from boozing from a barrel in a bikini top to saving “the worlds” was almost as amazing as when she dressed up as Wonder Woman for Seth’s Christmukkah present.
Read more here: http :// www.betches.com /~ ATAGEND