I’m A Queer Little: 10 Things You Should Know

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So you’ve heard about adult children maybe you even read the most recent” Inside The Misunderstood World Of Adult Baby Diaper Lovers” but do you are familiar with littles? What being a Queer Little means to me is that to the world I appear and act like a badass grownup, but when I’m at home with my Daddy/ partner I choose to live a relationship dynamic where I act like a preschooler!

Leather isn’t all about lashes, chains, and dungeon play parties: in my occurrence it doesn’t involve any of that! I’m a full day lifestyle those participating in a subpopulation of leather/ kink/ BDSM known as ageplay, and I recognize as a little. I recognize as being five, My daddy takes care of me, I have a bedtime, chores, pocket money to spend on coloring volumes, toys and trinkets, my daddy delivers messages from Santa and the Easter Bunny, ze cooks me dinner, and takes me on outings. Ze specifies regulations, and I believe are living in hir protection makes me the best version of myself possible. In turning I surrender to the vulnerability of being cared for, am devoted to hir, and strive to bring silliness and whimsy to our life together.

I write novels( Lost Boi, Roving Pack, A Little Queermas Carol) that center on little characters and feature Big/ little Caregiver/ little Dominant/ submissive( D/ s) relationships. As an writer I’m invested in creating portrayals of leather culture, including Big/ little dynamics that aren’t erotic, feature gay, transgender, and genderqueer identified characters and thus speak to the diverse behaviors that so many of us construct our identities, structure our families, and conceptualize of ourselves in the world outside of the dungeon.

I think it’s important to talk openly about being a little to demystify what ageplay is and who littles are. For this piece I asked my little adherents on social media what they would want the larger gay community to know about us, and my other followers what questions they have always wanted to ask…

10 Things You Should Know About Littles:

1. What is age play-act ?

A subpopulation of leather community comprised of individuals who consensually play with age. This can show in numerous roles or identities including but not limited to: daughters, sons, children, daddy, mommy etc. for some age play-act is part of negotiated scenes, and for others

It is an identity that is part of how one always relates to the world. Age musicians may( though not always) participate on D/ s dynamics, sometimes in Big/ little dynamics, sometimes little/ little dynamics. Age play can be both sexual and non-sexual is dependent on predilections of the individual( s) involved.

2. Not all littles wear diapers

If anyone even knows littles exist, they accept we are all walking around in diapers and sucking on pacifiers. There is nothing incorrect with doing those things, and I wholly celebrate adult baby littles, but I’m so tired of the only media representation of our community owing to the fact that image. There are as many ageplay “ages” that exist as there are ageplayers — all the way from adult children, to littles, and even centres( folks who ageplay as pre-teen/ teen )!

3. We aren’t hoaxed/ infantilized/ mistreated

First and foremost I’m a consenting adult. I choose to live my life this way, and I stimulate the empowered choice to be very out about my identity and lifestyle in part to try to break down this stigma.

4. I’m not little because I’m a survivor of childhood abuse

Not all littles are survivors. Simply like being queer isn’t the result of childhood abuse, neither is being a little or being involved in BDSM/ leather. Some littles are survivors, but it’s not causation.

5. Ageplay is not pedophilia

This is the worst and scariest stereotype. I nearly don’t even want to include this because it should be obvious. All BDSM/ leather activities/ dynamics etc. pass exclusively between consenting adults. Period. Ageplay has nothing to do with actual children. Ageplay is a kink or lifestyle dynamic between two( or more) consenting adults.

6. Not all littles are submissive

Littleness is often to be considered as submissive but it isn’t, at least not always! There are littles who have Daddies or Mommas or babysitters they might be submissive to OR dominant over like a spoiled princess! There are also littles who are free agents and simply wishes to wing solo, or find themselves to be more compatible with other littles.

7. We aren’t all thin/ white/ young/ blond/ cis/ straight

Actually most of us aren’t! We’re faggots from all ethnic backgrounds, torso types, genders, and sexual directions! There is so little coverage or representation of littles out in the project, and what does exist tends to conform to a particular privileged/ normative narration. In reality, the little community is so much more diverse than that!

8. Bigs: Who are they and why do they enjoy us ?

If we have Big identified spouses they aren’t stayed with us and being dragged along into our kinks( an accusation we often hear ). Big/ little dynamics are sometimes referred to as Caregiver/ little which I think is a really beautiful way to talk about the structure of how my Daddy and I have built our relationship. There are also Bigs who might fall into a more Sadist role.

9. Not all littles have Bigs/ Caretakers

Just like not all littles are submissive , not all littles have Bigs! Littles are littles regardless of what relationship( s) they may or may not be involved in. It’s like that old feminist bumper sticker” A Woman Without a Humankind Is Like a Fish Without a Bicycle” littles are people unto themselves. We shouldn’t be defined by being in relationship to anyone else.

10. It isn’t just about sexuality

There are other littles for whom being little has sexual ingredients, but I recognize as being on the asexual spectrum and so for me leather and littleness isn’t about sexuality at all. Many lifestyle littles who live these dynamics outside of negotiated scenes/ play don’t experience littleness as having a sexual ingredient. For lots of us being little is a core identity, and Big/ little is a core kink/ allure and how we want to structure our more intimate relationship, but it’s not actually about get off.

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