1. She taught me to be kind, but not take anyones shit.
Because of her, I am able to see the power kindness has to completely transform people period or month or even their entire life. But I know where to draw the line and recognise when Im not being treated the route I deserve to be. Ill be nice as tart, but if you mess with me youll be informed about it.
2. She showed me the best interests of forgiveness.
Im ever blown away with the ease at which she is able to forgive and forget. Cruel terms, spiteful actions and carelessness for her thoughts. Despite all that, she has never held resentments. And because of her I try my best to let things run. To not hold on to dislike. To leave the past behind me and focus on whats in front of me right now.
3. She survived her darkest moments.
Even though she has experienced more than her fair share of grief and sorrow, she still manages to smile today. And its not forced I know its genuine. Because she never let herself to be all-consumed by her past misfortunes, and in overcoming those painful times she only developed a thousand times stronger.
4. She taught me how to desire and respect my body.
She instilled a positive relationship with food within me since I was young, and I owe my body love to her. She showed me that comparing yourself to another woman is a total waste of time; hour that would be far better spent on nourishing ourselves. Because of her, I see that my body is a magnificent creation one that should be loved, respected and cherished.
5. She let me know it was okay to leave.
She let me know it was okay to stop being friends with people who werent really my friends. To break up with a guy who wasnt treating me well. To walk away from any situation I wasnt comfy with. And to have the confidence to pave my route through this life on my own, if I had to.
6. She told me to always comprise my head up high.
I remember her tell people to be confident and stand up proudly during my school day. To discount anyone who tried to construct “i m feeling” inferior or worthless. And I carry that lesson with me today, always holding my head up high even if I seem a little small.
7. She taught me to make goals and stay focused on them.
Since day one, she drilled into me the importance of always having goals to work towards. Purposes that were lofty and hard to reach. Goals that would require much hard work, patience and finding. Goals that I would be able to meet as long as I stayed focused on them.
8. She made me should be noted that anything is possible.
I was never once told that my daydreams and aspirations were too big. She ever built me feel like I could have anything Ive ever wanted as long as I wanted it enough. And today, I encourage myself to dream BIG and then chase all those nightmares down, because I realise the only thing stand in the way of those nightmares is me.
9. She showed me how to find balance.
How to be a brilliant daughter, a spouse, a mother, a friend and a career woman too. How to wear multiple labels in a world that enjoys to set us into neat boxes, and not get tied to only one role. She made juggling look so simple that Im not afraid to give it a go.
10. She told me that everything would be okay in the end.
No matter what went wrong or if I failed at something, it was never the end of the world. She taught me that it didnt matter, as long as I picked myself back up again. Even today when life doesnt appear to be going my style, I know deep inside my heart that everything will work itself out. Whats not signify for me will leave, and whats for me shall never pass me by.
by Shani Jay available here.
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